The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I am mentally ready for anal.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
