He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
