If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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