did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
