Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
