guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
