and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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