So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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