It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
