The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
