I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
