Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
