We're facebook friends in real life
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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