i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
