12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
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