I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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