I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Randomize
