no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
