I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
