these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
