Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
