Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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