Sry I called you an 8
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Randomize
