thus making me awesome and them whores
the condom got lost in my hair
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Randomize