Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
