they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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