That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
