Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
