party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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