As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
