But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
