I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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