one might say we're banned from that church
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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