I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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