I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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