You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
