Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Randomize
