Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
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