maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
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