dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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