True but thats because hes a fetus.
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
