he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Randomize
