Michael Bay diarrhea
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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