But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Randomize
