i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
we're making bets on your personal life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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