Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
it was like eating out sand paper
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
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