This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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