i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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