We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
i need to put some appletini on your dick
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Randomize
