I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
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We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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