Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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