ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
