barbara walters just said penis...
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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