paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
