Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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