He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
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