Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Randomize
